


Heart and soul

by coffee_o



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 13:51:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17940926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_o/pseuds/coffee_o
Summary: Sometimes, Tomoe found herself lingering a little longer in the bakery, peeking quietly while she observed Saaya at work. There was a certain grace in how Saaya seamlessly maneuvered her way around, the friendly way she greeted the customers, and how she easily struck up a conversation with them, taking the time and effort to remember their usual orders.And when she finally noticed Tomoe looking at her, there was always the familiar smile and mirthful glint in her eyes as she gave Tomoe a short wave.The cheerful and bright smile that never failed to lift her spirits up.The smile that reminded her ofhome.





	Heart and soul

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting on my drive for ages,,, the tmsy 4* was probably a sign for me to stop procrastinating and finish this fic

The first time she saw _her_ , Tomoe was almost bouncing in excitement. She was seven, and had heard that there would be a new bakery in the district, and that the owners of the bakery had kids too. She was young, eager, eyes wide and brimming with curiosity. After all, there were not many children living in the shopping district.

 

So the first chance Tomoe got, she had gone to the new bakery in the district.

 

“I’m Tomoe! Udagawa Tomoe!” Tomoe had a friendly grin ready as she introduced herself.

 

“Saaya- Yamabuki Saaya. Nice to meet you!” The girl - _Saaya_ , who she found out was of the same age as her, had given her a bright smile in return, eyes shining with similar curiosity.

 

Tomoe noticed two smaller figures hiding behind the brunette, their small hands grasping onto the girl’s arms timidly.

 

At Tomoe’s stare, Saaya offered her another smile and Tomoe noted the gentle and fond way she regarded them. “They’re my younger siblings, Jun and Sana. Sorry, they’re a little shy around strangers.”

 

Tomoe’s eyes widened at that. They were the same - she had a younger sister too!

 

“We’re the same then!” The delighted grin on Saaya’s face when Tomoe told her about Ako was a smile Tomoe knew she would never forget.

 

A genuine smile that stirred Tomoe’s heart.

 

And on that fateful day, she felt something akin to a light flutter in her chest.

 

* * *

 

Tomoe had practically dragged Moca to the Yamabuki Bakery the next day.

 

If love at first sight existed, Tomoe liked to think that was it when she saw how Moca’s eyes sparkled when she entered the bakery, absolutely awed.

 

And when Saaya’s father came out and gave them a bread each (it was on the house, he had said), with the first bite, Moca had instantly proclaimed loudly that she was the bakery’s number one fan.

 

Saaya laughed at that, and Tomoe could only shake her head in exasperation. She wasn’t sure if Moca was exaggerating but she had to admit that it did taste _good._

 

Tomoe didn’t regret bringing Moca to the bakery - it gave her an excuse to see the new girl again, who also looked happy to see them.

 

Saaya’s mother came out to the store with a warm and motherly smile, a smile that was used to talking and interacting with children. “Feel free to come here anytime you kids want to, I’m sure Saaya-chan would love the extra company.”

 

Both Tomoe and Moca lit up at that.

 

True to her word, each time Tomoe visited the bakery, either on an errand with Ako, or once to introduce Saaya to Tsugumi, she was welcomed warmly by Saaya’s parents. Sometimes, the regulars of the bakery even bought and offered free pastries for her to bring back to share with her younger sister.

 

Thinking back on it now, Tomoe realized that everything was so much more simple when they were children. All they cared about was having fun - and there was never a dull day in the shopping district.

 

The district was their home, a familiar and safe place that held many memories of the past.

 

* * *

 

Their makeshift group slowly grew. If Tomoe wasn't out or playing with Ran and the others, she was running around with the kids in the shopping district.

 

Hagumi was their newest addition and now, there were five of them, including Tomoe herself.

 

They liked to visit the bakery, and sometimes, upon Ako’s insistence, they went to the shop that Hagumi’s family owned (to get free croquettes).

 

Often, when they passed by the candy store, the granny from the store would give them free candies. With a friendly wave and gentle smile, the old lady would beckon them toward her and they would spend time in the shop listening to the stories that she had loved to tell.

 

However, as they grew older, gradually, they stopped playing together, due to familial obligations to help out at home.

 

They still saw each other around, still talked to each other, and they stayed as friends, yet there were times Tomoe wished she could hang out with Saaya more often.

 

Tomoe thus decided to make it a habit to visit the bakery.

 

* * *

 

In middle school, when Afterglow was formed, the time Tomoe spent going to the Yamabuki Bakery lessened.

 

If she didn’t have band practice, she was helping the adults in the district with the Taiko drums. Most times, she managed to visit the bakery whenever Moca wanted her daily dose of bread before band practice.

 

If she was lucky, Saaya would be by the counter or helping out in the bakery, and conversation flowed easily from there. They exchanged greetings, talked about school, about their siblings and drums - almost everything. If anything, there were able to talk about the most mundane of things and Tomoe would still enjoy their conversation.

 

Sometimes, Tomoe found herself lingering a little longer in the bakery, peeking quietly while she observed Saaya at work. There was a certain grace in how Saaya seamlessly maneuvered her way around, the friendly way she greeted the customers, and how she easily struck up a conversation with them, taking the time and effort to remember their usual orders.

 

And when she finally noticed Tomoe looking at her, there was always the familiar smile and mirthful glint in her eyes as she gave Tomoe a short wave.

 

The cheerful and bright smile that never failed to lift her spirits up.

 

The smile that reminded her of _home_.

 

* * *

 

One day, when Tomoe was heading toward the bakery, she saw Saaya outside, behind the shop, talking to her friend. Tomoe had seen her once or twice - Natsuki, Tomoe recalls the name of the girl Saaya’s in a band with.

 

Not wanting to interrupt, she decided to leave, though a familiar yet hard voice caused her to halt her movements.

 

Saaya’s tone was solemn and quiet, the words that slip through her lips were uncharacteristically heavy, words that Tomoe had never thought she would hear coming from the brunette.

 

“I told you I'm quitting the band.”

 

Tomoe knew she shouldn't stay there - realized  _too late_ that this was a private conversation and that she had no business of eavesdropping on.

 

Yet, she stood rooted to the ground, unable to move as she felt her heart constrict at Saaya’s words. It was also then that Tomoe realized that she didn't know much about Saaya’s band. 

 

The way Natsuki had looked so heartbroken, voice _pleading_ as she tried to get a proper answer out of Saaya caused Tomoe’s insides to twist. Behind the almost unreadable expression on Saaya’s face, there was a slight crack and hint of sorrow, but she did not say anything before she turned around and left.

 

Tomoe’s heart lurched at the sight, and she did not move from where she was, even after Natsuki had finally left. 

 

* * *

 

“So, what’s wrong?”

 

Ran’s sudden question jolts Tomoe out of her stupor. It’s only the two of them in the studio right now, and there is still some time before the rest of Afterglow arrive.

 

“What do you mean?” Tomoe tries to play it off with a laugh but Ran only narrows her eyes. She knows Tomoe has a habit of keeping her troubles to herself, and one of the ways to get her to be honest is to be straightforward and blunt about it.

 

“ _To_ _moe_.”

 

“Alright, alright...” Tomoe sighs, and hesitates for a moment. “It’s about Saaya.”

 

“The girl from the bakery?” Ran clarifies. She hasn’t really been to the Yamabuki Bakery but given how much Tomoe and Moca often talk about her, it’s hard to not remember her.

 

Tomoe nods. “I… I overheard something that I shouldn’t have.”

 

“And judging by how you’re acting now, it’s something serious.” Ran correctly deduces. She puts away her guitar for now, focusing her attention on her friend.

 

Tomoe nods again. “Saaya hasn’t said anything about it to me, and I didn’t want to probe further since it’s a private and delicate issue.” Tomoe tries her best to explain what happened without giving away the details. After the incident, it’s hard to face Saaya, to look in her eyes when she visits the bakery, but the brunette had never once spoken about her band, never gave any indication that something had happened. She’s at a loss, and she knows that it isn’t her place to intrude, but she wants to be of help - in whatever ways she can.

 

“By being the same as always,” Ran’s voice is unexpectedly soft.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You should do what you’ve always done - the same as always. Just like how you’ve always supported Afterglow, always ready to dash in to help us, holding us together. You should do the same for Yamabuki-san. I can’t speak for her since I don’t know her, but… I’m sure Yamabuki-san appreciates your presence.”

 

“Ran…”

 

It’s one of the rare times that Ran speaks so directly about her and she feels touched. When Ran is being forward about how she feels and thinks, Tomoe knows that Ran is being serious and it’s times like this that she knows she can count on her.

 

“Ohh~ Ran is able to say something so heartwarming at times~”

 

“M-Moca!” Ran’s face immediately bursts into flames as Moca slips into the studio with a teasing and cheeky grin. Tomoe blinks. When did Moca-

 

“Ran’s face is all red~” Moca continues, before disappearing behind Tomoe when Ran starts spluttering, heading towards the girl with a scowl.

 

Tomoe only chuckles fondly at the familiar sight.

 

_The same as always huh?_

 

* * *

 

They bump into each other one day after school, and Tomoe finally gathers up her courage. They are now sitting near the river bank by the grass patch that’s a little further off the district. There’s a rare silence between them, and Tomoe finds herself staring in the direction of the river while she tries to gather her thoughts.

 

“Is everything alright?” Tomoe finally says, careful to observe the girl’s expressions for any hints.

 

“Mm. Just a little tired. And...” Saaya pauses, and Tomoe waits patiently for the girl to continue. “I-” Saaya chokes up slightly.

 

“Saaya.” Tomoe finds herself grasping Saaya’s hand. Her chest tightens at how it’s trembling and squeezes it reassuringly.  

 

“I’m sorry, I just need a mome-”

 

“Saaya, It’s fine.” Tomoe’s voice, filled with utmost concern and sincerity, pierces through Saaya and she finds her breath hitching.

 

“It’s fine,” Tomoe repeats softly, kindly. “It’s okay. Just know that I’ll always be here.”

 

Saaya doesn’t say anything, biting her lips before she lets out shaky breath and nods.

 

No words were needed and Tomoe lets the brunette stay like that for a while longer.

 

* * *

 

Even as they enter high school and life got busier, Tomoe never stopped visiting the bakery whenever she had some time to spare.

 

“Hey, Moca,” Tomoe asks one day, after Afterglow’s practice. “You've been to the Yamabuki’s recently right? Do you think Saaya’s acting a little strange?”

 

Moca turns to face Tomoe, as the latter continues to fiddle with her drumsticks. Despite how Moca acts, she isn’t  _blind_ , and having known Tomoe for almost forever, she  _knows,_ and notices the telltale signs of Tomoe’s habit of fiddling with things with her hands when she’s anxious and worried.

 

“Hmmm…” Moca thinks for a moment. The urge to crack a joke is at the tip of her tongue but she holds herself back, seeing how her friend is extremely concerned about Saaya. And if Tomoe turns out to be right, her supply of bread from the bakery might be at stake.

 

“I dunno…” Moca's eyebrows scrunch up as she tries to recall if there was anything off about Saaya. “Saaya seemed the same as always~”

 

“Really?” Tomoe frowns. Maybe she is thinking too much into this.

 

“Hmm… But Tomo-chin, now that you mention it, Saaya missed out a stamp on my point card…” Moca continues to think out loud. It could have been an honest mistake, though Moca knows that Saaya is usually more conscientious than this.

 

The drummer thinks about when she has last seen Saaya - just a few days ago. Saaya had greeted her as she usually does, but Tomoe notices that Saaya seemed to be in an occasional slight daze.

 

Concerned, she had asked Saaya if everything was fine. Saaya had reassured her that she’s fine, and that she’s just tired since she has been preparing for their school’s cultural festival. She had offered a smile meant to allay her worries.

 

But it’s a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

 

* * *

 

These days when she sees Saaya, there's a new spark in her eyes.

 

Her laughs are lighter; they sound more carefree and her smiles always seem much brighter than before. Sometimes, there is also a teasing lilt in her voice. And if she is to be honest with herself, she enjoys the light banter between them, or how Saaya often chuckles at the little things she says.

 

Tomoe knows that it's thanks to Poppin’Party that Saaya is finally doing what she likes and wants to, knows that it's the excitable leader of Saaya’s band who had managed to cause the smile that she's able to see often now.

 

While there is always a tinge of melancholy that she wasn't able to be the one to help Saaya, she's still glad nonetheless. Thinking about it, seeing Saaya _happy_ and enjoying herself when she’s with Poppin’Party, and when she talks about them also brings a new found warmth in her chest.

 

At times, she’d bump into some of Saaya’s bandmates in the bakery, and it’s always a treat for her eyes when she sees them interacting, seeing her relaxing with them.

 

As she observes them, sometimes from afar, she doesn’t realize that she has also been smiling.

 

* * *

 

“Ah- Tomoe, welcome back!” The way Saaya lights up when she enters the bakery is enough to bring a grin to her face.

 

“O~ Saaya, I'm home!” She returns the greeting.

 

It’s a familiar and comfortable routine they had settled in, and often, it brings a dumb smile to her face, and it’s easily one of her favourite moments that she looks forward to whenever she drops by.

 

“It feels nice to have someone welcoming me back,” Tomoe jokes.

 

“The district is our home after all,” Saaya returns good-naturedly, and they easily fall into a conversation. Spending time with Saaya and the others living in the district last weekend had been a refreshing and fun experience - it’s nostalgic, yet, they’ve also discovered new things that they’ve never seen or thought of before even though they’ve lived in this district for almost their entire life.

 

“We should hang out more often,” Tomoe says, “and get the shopping district group back again. The pencil auntie says that there’s a new menu coming up in the tanuki shop!”

 

“Sounds great! As expected of the pencil auntie~”

 

“Right?” Tomoe laughs.

 

“Hey, Tomoe.” A moment later, Saaya’s voice turns serious, and Tomoe raises an eyebrow questioningly.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“...Thank you.”

 

“Hm? But I haven’t done anything.”

 

Saaya shakes her head. “I mean, thank you for everything you’ve done. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and spending time with the shopping district group made this more apparent. Tomoe, you’ve always been here. Even back then... you were always around, supporting me even though I didn’t say anything.”

 

Saaya’s expression turns softer, and Tomoe’s throat suddenly tightens at Saaya's words. 

 

“Thank you for always being there for me.” Saaya finally smiles.

 

_Ah._

 

_So this is what it was_. _I’m-_

 

Tomoe feels the slight heat that is creeping up her cheeks, her heart starting to beat a tad quicker than usual.

 

“Maybe someday, someday… I’ll tell you everything.” There’s a slight sense of wistfulness in Saaya’s expression, yet her words hold some form of a promise.

 

“Yeah.” Tomoe’s hand reaches out to pat Saaya’s head, and she offers a warm smile in return. “I’ll be waiting.”

 

There was nothing she could do back then - she could only watch. Watches as Saaya falls and slowly picks herself back up again.

 

But now, Tomoe swears that she will be right next to her, ready to catch her. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm soft for the way tomoe calls saaya in the game, especially the exchange between them in tomoe's 4* episode in the shopping district girls event
> 
> this isn't exactly fluff and it kinda went off from what i had originally planned this to be whoops


End file.
